do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will be naked everywhere
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
