The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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