So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
