C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
