Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
