it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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