at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
