I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
