Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
