are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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