eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
this is an emotional support booty call
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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