im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
