having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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