My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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