There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
