they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize