I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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