You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
