if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Actions speak louder than pants.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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