Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
