I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize