Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
