the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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