my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
