you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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