Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
