There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
