No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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