walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
