The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
