You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
