i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
love makes seman taste better
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's shark week go big or go home
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
