bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He has the fingertips of a God
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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