My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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