also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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