Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
