i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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