your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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