So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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