I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
