She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
