big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
