I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
