i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize