Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize