Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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