It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
