Welp...herpes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
