So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
