i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
