Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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