yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
