I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
