I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
