so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
