I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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