false alarm. still invincible.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
