I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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