Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
