is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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