Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
