so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
