Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
operation have a gay friend backfired
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
